When there's a new member in our squad or at work, we have an innate tendency to think that the newbie will adjust to the new bubble all by themselves. But have we ever tried thinking that it may not be the case, that the person can't exactly adjust automatically but may need advice and instructions from someone within the squad? Well, if you haven't thought these before, you can always give the following tactics a shot:
BE THE INSTIGATOR
Almost all of us possess this attitude that the new ones will introduce themselves and just automatically start telling “fun-facts” of their lives. But, put yourself in the new person's shoes. It's easy introducing oneself, but that's it. Out of the blue, you can't expect them to lengthen the conversation. So, in that case, you can always be the one to ask them polite questions. For example, memes can be a great help for connecting to the people of the same generation. You can always show them the meme that had you burst into heavy fits of laughter. String a conversation in that way so that they can open up.
DON'T GET INTO INSIDE JOKES AND PERSONAL LIVES
Every squad has inside jokes. You often don't even realise when you shift to a language consisting of references and jokes that no outsider will ever understand. However, the new friend hasn't yet had time to get to know the depths and meanings of the inside jokes. So, remember to explain the joke to them, either right then or later. And in case of going on about your personal lives, the new member will always squirm in discomfort when friends are having profound closure of everyone's personal lives. Anyone with a sense of courtesy won't feel at ease. Try to avoid such circumstances.
'VERBALLY' INVITE THEM
Say, you're all talking about something and then abruptly one suggests a hang-out at the new burger-place or want to watch a movie together, don't expect everyone to just accept that they got the open invitation. The new ones would probably feel like they're uninvited and it would hurt them. So it won't hurt to invite the rookie to join in the hangout. That way, everyone is comfortable.
NO FUSSING OVER THEIR MISTAKES
Often, due to nervousness, the newbie may make a dumb mistake which may make you laugh. Although you may not mean any harm by laughing at a trivial, clumsy mistake but it may shake the said individual's already quivering confidence. Even extroverts fall victim to such inferiority complex. That's why you should wait till a few days are gone and then make fun of them when they are not new anymore. You could also be a nice person and not point out people's flaws but that's too much to ask.
So, next time when there's a new face in your group, you can always be the sweet one to help them socialise. And as the new one will gradually be okay with everyone, they will always revere you as the one who first reached out to them, earning you a valuable ally when you finally start the revolution.
Maisha Nazifa Kamal is on a highly confidential mission to defeat all Muggles in procrastination. Join forces with her at firstname.lastname@example.org