If you’ve ever had to study Chemistry, even if it was for a brief second, I am sure you have wondered which element in the periodic table you would be. Because to you, life is just as difficult as a stoichiometry problem and human beings are as diverse and unique as the elements that surround us. So, here is the answer to the question of who you are, in terms of your electron, proton and neutron numbers.
You are exceptional, but in a problematic way because you have no personality. There is no way to put you in a generalised category. You always go out of your way to meddle in other people’s businesses and try to create an “exceptional” scenario. But at the same time, you fit in every group, be it the smart ones or the gamers, be it the Instagram influencers or public speakers. You are versatile and can do everything.
You are unreactive. You have a superiority complex; you miss out on a lot of things because you feel like you deserve much better. Maybe you are right but being inert can sometimes be sad.
You have a pure heart. You are also very bad at expressing your emotions, and you often fail to react to things. You are meek and docile; your actions are very malleable. Also, people love to imitate you. You are like the popular kid in the group with no virtue of your own because thanks to a lottery of birth your looks tick all the boxes of “social acceptability.”
You have a lot of siblings. Maybe have twins. People confuse you for someone else because you exist as so many different beings. You also require a lot of validation; you need all your bonds to be filled at all times, and you’re ready to share everything you have to achieve that. You are also very ambitious; you always end up making the largest of the structures. You may shine bright like a diamond, but you also may not shine at all.
You are that one person whose parents believe them to be the sweetest, innocent one. You fall under the transition elements but you are not. You sell your face to get benefits. You probably third wheel a lot. Maybe also the one who is always sober among their friends. You are secretly a genius, but no one knows. You often replace people in a bond but that’s only because you can.
You are radioactive. You are a softie on the inside but look very scary on the outside. But hey, once something hits you, you become explosive. You do not get angry but once you do, it’s pandemonium. That’s not another element, no.
You are the rebel. You are liquid when everyone else is solid. Social norms and trends are your worst enemies. People mistake you for silver but you are your own beast. You’re the cool, metallic slime.
You are a real nuisance. You mess up everything, but it somehow works out. No, you manage to work it out. You know how to turn a difficult situation around. You are a pacifier; your friends love to text you when they are sad. You can deal with anyone at any time. You are easy-going, with all your 10 oxidation states, your reliability increases significantly.
You are the spark to every relationship that ever started in first grade. You are a high maintenance, high reward system. You somehow manage to connect with everyone around you and then connect them. You bond with anyone and everyone regardless of the consequences. Your initiation can cause ozone layers to deplete, or acid rains of misery but it can also lead to respiration and the ability of everyone around you to breathe and survive. You are also somewhat of an attention seeker. You have made sure that everyone who has ever lived is grateful to you 24/7.
You crave power. Popularity is your reason to live. You somehow have everything but still, want more, and thus, your bonds are often unstable. You are the one everyone is jealous of. Maybe the reason why you want more is that you know full well that money cannot buy happiness. You want something deeper, something less materialistic. You will eventually find happiness but the question is if you will be content with happiness when you find it.
Megha Rahman is a big fan of organic chemistry but is studying finance. Please send her science memes at firstname.lastname@example.org