Ever since Sacred Games came out, we have all wondered about that one daring task that could change our lives. If you are living in Bangladesh, there are quite a few tasks right around the corner. Here are a few ways you can be the Gaitonde of your dreams:
STARTING FOR OFFICE EXACTLY ON TIME
If you have been living in Bangladesh for a while, you have most definitely experienced the horrific traffic that makes kids start at 5 in the morning to catch their 8.30 AM classes. All our schedules follow the equation “time required to cover the distance with normal traffic +3 hours of intolerable and unexpected traffic”. Thus, if you start for your destination “exactly on time” without taking the latter part of the equation into account, then you are most certainly a Ganesh Gaitonde who does not mind gambling with his or her career.
FOLLOWING YOUR PASSION
Living in a society dominated by doctors and engineers, anyone who believes they have “a choice” in determining what they want to be in life is most definitely a Gaitonde. Not only is the Bangladeshi education system only focused disproportionately towards only producing science graduates, but we also discourage any and all branches of arts majors. We treat passion as an extracurricular activity and tag our passion projects as our “side projects”. Anyone who chooses to go against all these odds and pursue their passion certainly displays an act of bravery.
GOING SHOPPING BEFORE EID
If you have spent at least 6 months in Bangladesh, you would know how very seriously we take our Eid shopping. We carefully try to map out what we want for Eid and come up with 63 options. Then, we plan our shopping itiniery because we must visit them all. Thus, for anyone who tries to enter any shopping mall or the New Market area during Eid season, they not only put their lives on the line, they also put their valuable time and money trying to push through the crowd and bargain with the shopkeeper for 2 hours to buy a 13000 Taka dress that they will wear a handful of times in their entire lives. Brave soldiers.
ATTENDING A WEDDING
This is probably the most daring activity of all. Attending a wedding requires courage and determination. You have to make sure you don't look overdressed because you can't look better than the bride or groom. You also have to make sure that you don't look underdressed because then you will just ruin the festive atmosphere with your casual aura. So, in order to attend a wedding in a socially acceptable manner, you have to find the perfect balance between overdressing and underdressing. But that's not all, you also have to be mentally and physically prepared to let the aunties know when you plan on getting married and how you feel about other people getting married while you try to pursue your “career”.
BEING A VEGETARIAN
Bangladeshis love to eat but we are a bit picky about our food. We like our food spicy and meaty. Thus, for someone who plans to live a vegetarian life, the chances of them getting good vegetarian food without having to sell their kidney is most definitely a daring task to take on.
Megha is an anxious teenager trying to figure out how university life works. You can send her memes at firstname.lastname@example.org