Do you have the constant urge to suck on mints till your taste buds are too frozen with minty goodness and you no longer taste anything anymore? Do you have the tendency to chew minty gums relentlessly till your jaw's elastic limits are completely dismantled? If the answers are yes (or if you're too busy chewing on gums to reply), you are stricken with the deadly case of M.A.D. (Mint Addiction Disorder).
For mint-o-maniacs, mints are blessings from God Himself. They are the saviours of the olfactory glands and an escape from worrying about your culinary choice before a date. That jhalmuri you wanted to eat but couldn't because of the onions - is no longer a problem. The peyaj morich bhorta that looked so alluring with a hot bowl of khichuri should definitely be on your diet. Just pop in a mint in your mouth and your breath is as fresh as new.
Though mints certainly have their perks, the addiction to it can cause a few acute problems for someone with M.A.D. Here is how you can self-diagnose your mint addiction. If you have any of these symptoms, you should really start serving a better range of food to your palate.
MINTING UP EVERYTHING
Whenever it comes down to buying anything, you have your priorities straight - either mint or nothing. From your toothpaste to your favourite ice cream, everything must be minty. The best part of this binary selection is that choices in life are really simple for you. Eating toothpaste in the morning has never been more delightful. However, the biggest downside is the fact that kacchi does not come in mint flavours. Bummer.
Mints are vital to your fidgety confidence. Mints provide you with that gigantic jolt of confidence required to go up to a girl and tell her “Appi nyc lagca”. It makes you feel invincible. On the contrary, you evolve from Tom Cruise to a certain Hero Alom without mint. Mint and confidence are on a strange continuum for you, stranger than the unholy love-hate relationship between you and your fidget spinner.
YOU ARE POSSESSIVE ABOUT YOUR MINTS
You love your mints more than you love your counterpart. It infuriates you every time someone decides to casually take a mint from you because it just “tastes good”. NO. Mints are aphrodisiacs. And anyone who does not share the passion is strictly off limits.
BECOME THE MINT LORD IN YOUR HOOD
You always need to carry minted candies or gums with you wherever you go. So much so that you became the sole mint-supplier in your hood. You have an inner circle of mint-heads. “Mint me” is a common lingo in the circle.
IDENTIFY YOURSELF AS A MINT
If the addiction gets severe, you start believing that the reinvigorating essence of mints is the key to life and you decide to identify yourself as a part of the mint family.
So before it gets serious, run, stuff greasy burgers or Bangla-Chinese food in your mouth!
Nafis Imtiaz Onish believes grinning is the answer to everything and avidly loves art, astronomy & all things nerdy. Send him Carl Sagan fan art at firstname.lastname@example.org